WHEN GIRLS ATTACK!

THE INAUGURAL DONALD RUMSFELD THINGS YOU KNEW YOU DIDN'T KNOW BUT DO KNOW NOW POST - PICKING YOUR FEET IN POUGHKEEPSIE

 I'm obsessed with Poughkeepsie. Of course it's Gene Hackman's fault. Ever since I heard that line many moons ago I've liked the sound of it. I've never been there probably never will go but it doesn't bother me. There's always the internet. This is Jean Murphy on the town of Poughkeepsie page. http://www.townofpoughkeepsie.com/historian/index.html She seems like a nice lady, the kind you could have a beer with and chew the fat. Then there's the Journal: http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/ Weather looks bad. Second oldest newspaper in the USA.

According to wikipedia (and who will argue with wikipedia) the inventor of Scrabble, Alfred Mosher Butts (238 points) was from Poughkeepsie. Other notable residents – Delilah Strong, adult film star, winner of the 2009 AVN Best Three -Way Sex Scene. Edward Wood, film director. Samuel Morse, inventor of morse code. Sterling Morrison, guitarist with the Velvet Underground. Caroyln Garcia, ex-wife of Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia. Billy Name (who really should change his middle name to Noh) artist, Andy Warhol collaborator and campaigner to save Poughkeepsie Bridge. And finally James J. Lebar, catholic priest who served as chief exorcist of the Archdiocese of New York. I shitteth ye not.

You'll see on the town historian page there's a notice to find a slogan which best sums up Poughkeepsie. They really should play on The French Connection connection if you see what I mean.

Poughkeepsie – we've picked only the best!

Poughkeepsie – every square foot hand picked!

Poughkeepsie – we picked you, now pick us!

And so on. Afterall I would never have heard of Poughkeepsie if it weren't for that line.

So I have to ask the question. Is it, or has it ever been illegal to pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?

I'm hoping it's one of those antiquated laws you find in the US sometimes, like say it's illegal in Boise, Idaho for red – headed girls in yellow summer dresses to lick an ice-cream on a Sunday if the wind is blowing from the south west. I'm hoping you know. I would ask the historical society but there probably sick of being asked.

And finally a Limerick I wrote in honour of Poughkeepsie.

There was a young man from Poughkeepsie,

Who boasted his girl was so easy,

So when he came round to call, she cut off his balls,

Now he goes by the name of Felicity.

MR. SPOCK'S MUSIC FROM OUTER SPACE

Nothing more to add really.

Except maybe this from William Shatner (Captain Kirk):

Cover of Pulp's Common People. A classic.

Shatner is well known for his spoken word covers

or parodies, you can never really tell what they're

supposed to be. Here is Zapp Brannigan who in

turn parodies Cap'n Kirk.

SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT KIT

Tired of the same old swear words? Need to inject new life into your insults? Try new improved 'Shakespeare Insult Kit' ©. Yours for 12 monthly installments of just $4.99.

Boss giving you a hard time lately?
Simply pick any 3 words from columns 1, 2, and 3 and watch him squirm as you call him a 'gleeking beef-witted bum bailey!'

Teacher constantly picking on you? Watch her jaw drop as you call her a 'mewling knotty-pated flax-wench!'

Driven mad by unsolicited phone calls? Hear them gasp as you call them 'venomed onion-eyed hugger-muggers!'

And how do you reckon Richard III feels being discovered buried under a car park? Well, like a 'gorbellied common-kissing puttock!'

Hours of fun guaranteed!


http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/feb/05/king-richard-iii-face-recreated?INTCMP=SRCH